The Fear of Falling Apart
by musicesti
Summary: "One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go. Whether it's guilt, anger, love, loss, or betrayal. Change is never easy. We fight to hold on and we fight to let go." —Unknown


A shade of gray tinted the room as the sun barely started to rise through the window. Stormy blue hues stared blankly at the ceiling, barely making out silhouettes in the room. The sound of a piano resonated throughout the house keeping anyone lucky enough to be awake, listening. The smooth transitions between each chord was mesmerizing. This sound had been there since the start of the week. It wasn't distracting nor bothering, but rather relaxing.

Bryce was deciding whether he should go see who was making the melancholic song or just enjoy the song from where he was at, Bryce tossed and turned in bed, knowing already who it could be. He made up his mind and got up quietly from where he lay. Creeping around the halls was easy for him because he knew the layout like the back of his hand. He got to the doorway of his music room and noticed that the door was open. Quietly opening the door, he leaned on the doorway as the song continued to play.

The song got to a part where two people were supposed to be playing together, but the pianist did just fine on his own. Bryce decided to grab his guitar from the corner near the wall. He hoped that he would be able to join in if he ever got the courage to confront the mysterious musician. Bryce noticed that the song changed, and this time, the song was slower, deeper. To Bryce, he could see how much this song meant to the other.

What Bryce did next was what he needed to. The song was a different one from before and hadn't been played once. Bryce put his guitar away, sat next to the man playing his heart out and began to sing along to the tune. The song wasn't one that he listen to often, but he knew enough.

"This is Gospel, for the fallen ones, locked away in permanent slumber… Assembling their philosophies from pieces of broken memories. Woah… Gnashing teeth and criminal tongues, conspire against the odds, but they haven't seen the best of us yet… If you love me let me go~"

The song had abruptly stopped playing, but Bryce kept singing along to silence. He knew he couldn't stop now. "Cuz these words are knives and often leave scars. The fear of falling apart. Truth be told, I never was yours. The fear, the fear of falling apart…"

At this point, Ryan stopped not out of shock, but because he wanted to listen to Bryce sing. His voice was soft and comforting. They were close friends and when Bryce heard that the other was having trouble back home, he invited him to stay at his place if it would make it easier. The other hesitated for awhile before agreeing and moving in. They set a pace for each other during a week and Ryan eventually got comfortable.

"Don't try to sleep through the end of the world and bury me alive because I won't give up without a fight. If you love me let me go~ If you love me let me go. Because these words are knives and often leave scars. The fear of falling apart; the fear, the fear of falling apart. The fear of falling apart…"

Bryce opened his eyes the first thing he noticed was that Ryan was crying. His worried expression was replaced with a soft smile and kind eyes. Bryce opened his arms and Ryan fell into them. The two stayed there until the sun was pouring all over the room. Their faces were bathed in sunshine as comforting words were spilled. Ryan stopped crying and just stayed there where he felt most at home after everything.

Bryce's smile never left as he bent down and kissed the older man on the lips softly. "Come on Ryan, let's get back to bed." Ryan refused to move until he had a question answered. "When?" he asked not looking up at Bryce. Confused by the question, Bryce did some thinking. Did he mean about the songs each morning or about his feelings. "About the songs each morning? I noticed it the night you moved in."

Ryan frowned and gripped the other's shirt tightly, "That's not what I meant. When?" Bryce stopped and thought about it for a while. Did he start when he moved in? No. Before? Yes. The question that lingered was, When? He knew it wasn't when they first met, it would've been to early. Then he got it.

"Hmm, I guess it was as we started to play more together back in earlier year, not exactly when we met, but shortly soon after. I noticed I felt a certain way about you and I couldn't quite place it until now." Satisfied with the answer, Ryan looked up at Bryce and replied, "Me too…" A tired wave washed over Ryan and he let out a yawn.

Bryce let out a chuckle, "Come on sleepyhead, let's go back to bed." Ryan nodded as Bryce pulled him up from the piano bench and grabbed his hand, squeezing a little bit. They walked back into Bryce's room and fell into the bed. Ryan pulled the covers over both of them and they laughed after the tense atmosphere from before. Ryan gave Bryce a kiss on the lips before falling victim to sleep.


End file.
